Conservative Penguin

After a month-long hiatus, I'm back

2005-02-21T10:35:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, I'd like to start out by giving a long overdue shout-out to Franz Dill for directing me to the penguin entry in Wikipedia. This is a good resource for people who want to learn more about penguins.

Please accept my most sincere apologies for my lack of posting in recent times. I know that no excuse is appropriate for my misconduct, but I had a lot of school work and I went skiing last weekend. Skiing is a lot like conservatism. I won't elaborate on that simile, but I will instead allow you to ponder on it and use your own mind to find the hidden meaning behind my statement.

In the meantime, I'm pretty much "tuckered out," if you know what I mean. I'll get some penguin comics up here very soon (as soon as I get the photo-editing software to work again). If you have any ideas for a conservative comic and want to see your ideas voiced by penguins, just give me a holler and I will gladly draw up a new comic.

Until then, live long and prosper.

Hip hop: reflections of a conservative dawg

2005-01-30T17:41:00.000-06:00

As a teenager, I feel the need to find a point of difference from my parents. Because my parents grew up in the 50's and 60's, they listened to the harmonic beach trash noise of The Beach Boys and Jan and Dean. In fact, any time I say anything against either of these two my father accuses me of being "unamerican," and guilty of "high treason." But I haven't come here to dis on these guys, just making a few tangential remarks to settle in here. Anyway, in order to find a point of difference with my parental units, I have abandoned their quote unquote music, and have turned instead to hip hop. They say that it encourages bad morals and shows images of violence and drugs, and degrades women. And as much as I might not want to, I actually agree with them.

However, hip hop is less of an encouraging factor for delinquent behavior as it is an indication of behavior that is already present in the society that rappers come from. You never hear of anyone robbing the local gas station because 50 Cent told them to. Hip hop is more of a reaction to the miscreant activity that occurs on the street.

This is not to say that hip hop does not have an influencing factor. People who are raised on this type of music without any counter-balance such as religion, concerned parents, etc., may stand a very great chance of viewing this type of behavior as acceptable within the norms of society. And with the growing number of single-parent families, this may not be an uncommon occurrence.

However, I, who am very religious and have had two very concerned (a gross understatement) parents, like hip hop because of the driving beats and rhythms. I am an amateur breakdancer (known as a bboy by the initiated) who uses hip hop and spinning on my back as a way to relieve stress and anger. I also have to admit that I like the lyrics because they make me laugh. I find the exploits and stories that are told in hip hop to be highly amusing, and the entire culture of bling, cars, and mansions seems quite nice actually (also a gross understatement).

In other words, I believe that a person cannot be affected by hip hop if he (I will not be politically correct and add the "or she" clause, but that issue's for another day) has a degree of moral fiber and only half listens to the lyrics. Plus, hip hop can make my parents spontaneously start to move themselves in odd ways that appear to be some form of dancing. But I haven't decided if that's a pro or con yet.

Peace out homeys,

My First Post (for lack of a better title)

2005-01-29T09:26:00.000-06:00

Guys, I'm not gonna lie to you. My dad basically said he would ground me unless I started writing a blog. Both he and my mom have blogs, and they have highly enjoyed it (my dad is completely obsessed). So, after twenty minutes of showing me how this blog thing works, which I zoned out for the last 15 minutes, here I am, writing my first post.

You may have guessed that I am not yet an adult. Or that I am a sad little man who lives in my parents basement. I would have to pick the former choice, but you can choose whichever option amuses you the most. I go to a very liberal high school, and sometimes I get a little fed up with everything, so I hope that this will be a good release for my conservative opinions.

Now, this is not going to be just another teen angst blog where I complain about how my life is awful and how I'm so misunderstood. That stuff is completely... bogus, not worth the pixels that it uses on your computer screen (sorry other teenage friends who may or may not be reading this). Instead, I am going to write the first intelligent teen blog. A blog that features conservatism along with another one of my passions, penguins. Yes, you heard right. Penguins. It may be a slightly offbeat topic, but I write conservative comics that feature penguins and I submit them to my school newspaper.

It's the greatest thing ever. As long as innocuous penguins are the arbiters of my viewpoints, I can say whatever I want and these liberals don't even noptice. They sometimes even think it's funny.

So, without further ado, I will post conservative articles, penguin comics, other penguin stuff, and whatever I feel like (so long as it does not include the words "my," "life," and "awful").

Godspeed (oh, how I've always wanted to say that),
Max Goldberg